Funny Best Man Speeches

Being asked, to be the best man, is no laughing matter!  So you could be forgiven if you temporarily lose your sense of humour.
The job carries so much responsibility, not only will you be in charge of organising a great ‘stag weekend’ full of fun activities, to make it one to remember!
You will also have the task of writing the best mans speech, so just in case you are suffering from writer’s block, I’ve put together a great little selection of jokes to help inject some humour and get you started.
You could use all of these jokes or just select the ones you like, just order them in your own way, to end up with a speech unique to you and the bride and groom.
Best Man Opening Line
For those of you who don’t know me, my name is [BEST MAN] and for those of those who do know me…I apologise. My full name is actually ‘[BEST MAN]-would-you-like-a-drink’.For those of you who I chat to in the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could use my full name.
Digs at the Groom Jokes
“I read somewhere that the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So raise your glasses to the happy couple!”
Isn’t it funny how history has a habit of repeating itself? Twenty-nine years ago Jill’s parents were sending her off to bed with a dummy. And tonight they’re doing exactly the same thing again!
“As part of my research, I discovered that according to tradition I am supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and tell you all about his many good points. Well, I’m very sorry but I can’t sing and I won’t lie.”
Jill please put your left hand flat on the table. Jack please place your hand on top of hers.  Enjoy this moment Jack because it’s the first and last time in your marriage that you’ll have the upper hand.
We all know the bride is a wonderful lady who deserves the perfect guy. Too bad you don’t always get what you deserve.
Digs at the Bride Jokes
Good evening. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only joking. She went over the speech with me half an hour ago in the bar.
I’d like to assure you all that we are unlikely to have any problems this evening with any of [brides name]’s exes showing up. I think they are all out celebrating.
I’d now like to focus on Jack for a moment. Enjoy it, mate. After today, this is the last time you’ll ever be the centre of attention.
“Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!”
Jack remember – women are like wine. They start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating, and become more full-bodied with age, until one day they turn sour and vinegary and just give you a headache.

Good Luck with your speech and hope this helped.  And if ever you are looking for a Bristol stag weekend or a Cardiff stag weekend, be sure to check out West Country Games and Welsh Games for your stag do.  Two of the best operators in the business!

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John Wick

I am currently working as a writer/author with Newsnblogs. I have more than 4 years of experience in the same field of reporting and coordinating in the media company.

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